Build Respect. Not Regret.
Create safer online spaces.

Online hatred, violence and abuse is on the rise, it is called Technology-Facilitated Gender-Based
Violence (TFGBV) and affects all of us negatively in some way.

South African Rapper Xtreem Makhayeni asks in his song: “Will you build or break?”. When you build
respect, you choose to log off negative social media, not share abusive, violent or misogynistic
content or comments. You choose to not be a slave to the algorithm, which will feed you hateful,
violent content the more you share and engage with it. The message in this song is clear. Don’t hate.
Create. Create safer online spaces for all, and leave a positive legacy. That is what being a real man
means.

What is Technology-Facilitated Gender-Based Violence (TFGBV)?

TFGBV happens when phones or online platforms are used to harm, control, shame or threaten
someone because of their gender. It includes unwanted sexual messages, sharing intimate images
without consent, stalking, rape threats in comments, fake accounts used for harassment, coordinated
pile-ons and deepfake sexual content.
This is not “online drama.” It is abuse. And what happens online does not stay online.
Screenshots last. Posts spread. Reputations suffer. Mental health suffers. Safety is affected. The
internet does not forget. Lives are destroyed. Communities are broken. No one wins in this situation.

This Is How We Build

Change is not dramatic. It is daily. 

It is not laughing at degrading memes.
It is not forwarding leaked images.
It is not piling on in comments.
It is not staying silent when someone is humiliated.

It is saying, “That’s not it.”
It is checking your friends.
It is refusing to participate in cruelty.

Building respect does not trend. It does not go viral. But it builds trust, dignity and safety — and it builds respect and integrity within you.

South Africa does not need more hate. It needs more men willing to lead differently — online and offline. The choice is yours.

Will you build?
Or will you break?

Support for men:
South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) – 0800 567 567
Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0800 567 567
Join our WhatsApp group here 

If You Are Experiencing Online Abuse

If you are facing harassment, stalking, threats or image-based abuse, hear this clearly:

It is not your fault.

Not what you wore.
Not what you posted.
Not what you said.

Abuse is a choice made by the abuser.

Save evidence. Take screenshots. Record usernames and dates. Report abusive content on the platform. In South Africa, sharing intimate images without consent is a criminal offence, and you can open a case at your nearest police station.

You can also contact:

Gender-Based Violence Command Centre (24/7)
0800 428 428 (TOLL_FREE)
1207867# (FREE call back)
help@gbv.org.za

Rape Crisis South Africa: 0800 727 272
Lifeline South Africa: 0861 322 322
Childline South Africa: 0800 055 555

SAPS Emergency: 10111
POWA: 011 642 4345

You are not alone. Support is available.

Build or Break Lyrics:

Original lyrics

Hook:

Either you build or you break, ey (x2)

Still trying to get the bread

Pray that my mother, my sister okay
Pray that my baby, my daughter okay
Either you build or you break, ey.

Are you going to give or are you going to take?
Either you win or you hate.

Verse 1

Its getting crazier by the day
Women no longer feel safe around the men
Than to be with us they rather choose a bear
That should really tell a lot about ourselves
We blame it on how they dress
And it really don’t make no sense

Just because akakfuni don’t mean that u have to be mean man, common sense
We got a problem that we need to face

Your comment gonna live forever
better watch what u say
All of this hate towards women we got it from tate
With all of this content they put in our face
It’s not late we can change

Why be misogynistic just show love to ladies
That’s how a real man gon’ stand on bidnessl
By protecting not hurting or being a menace to the ladies
Angfaki isgela ngyaba bhekisa
Niba limit.a ekhishi niyab phekisa
Besilahlekile now the right direction is we’re we heading
Zinto are changing

Hook:

Either you build or you break, ey (x2)

Still trying to get the bread
Pray that my mother, my sister okay
Pray that my baby, my daughter okay
Either you build or you break, ey.

Are you going to give or are you going to take?
Either you love or you hate.

Verse 2

Tell me who is you when nobody is looking
We get on the net and we start acting foolish
We become a bully for the likes kanti yini askhuli
Just coz we know that no one is gon’ hold us accountable
But the women they human we know they got feelings too
I see all this hate on the net and i think ‘bout ma sister ma baby i feel it too

Zinja zami we gotta do better
Better angels within us are embedded
We been misled and I’m glad that we get it

Algorithm just Manipulates us n control behaviour
Then defeat us
Without women we wouldn’t exist.a
They deserve all the kindness and the peace
But they the ones getting harassed on the media
By the same people who pose to be leader
Is u gon’ follow or gon leader
Or is u gon’ sit behind the phone n joke n post
About how these things u don’t feel.a
What we see in these reals is not real.a

Spending our time TikTok
TikTok ntwna iskhathi syahamba
They got the youth in the noose bayas khama
I pray that ma people can see we the prey to the algorithm n we suffer
khokha umoya relaxer
Being a man is not showing people that u tougher

It’s ‘bout building a legacy
It’s not it’s never about imali engingi
Ngothando no buntu we really win
The quality is in equality
If u know wat i mean

Hook:

Either you build or you break, ey (x2)

Still trying to get the bread
Pray that my mother, my sister okay
Pray that my baby, my daughter okay
Either you build or you break, ey.

Are you going to give or are you going to take?
Either you win or you hate.

English only Translation:
VERSE 1

It’s getting crazier by the day
Women no longer feel safe around men
Rather than being with us, they would choose a bear
That should tell us a lot about ourselves

We blame it on how they dress
And that really doesn’t make any sense

Just because she doesn’t want you
Doesn’t mean you have to be cruel, that’s common sense
We have a problem that we need to face

Your comment is going to live forever
You better watch what you say
All this hate toward women comes from Tate
And from all this content pushed in our face
But it’s not too late, we can change

Why be misogynistic, just show love to women
That’s how a real man stands on his principles
By protecting, not hurting
Not being a menace to women

Don’t be loud and reckless, think carefully
You limit them to the kitchen, you make them cook
We were lost
Now we’re heading in the right direction
Things are changing

VERSE 2

Tell me who you are when nobody is watching
We get online and start acting foolish

We become bullies for likes
Even though that’s not who we really are
Just because we think no one will hold us accountable

But women are human too
We know they have feelings
When I see all this hate online
I think about my sister, my child
I feel it deeply

My brothers, we have to do better
Our better angels are already within us
We were misled, and I’m glad we’re starting to understand

The algorithm manipulates us and controls behaviour
Then it defeats us

Without women, we wouldn’t exist
They deserve kindness and peace
But they’re the ones being harassed online
By the same people who claim to be leaders

Will you follow or will you lead?
Or will you sit behind a phone, joke, and post
About things you claim you don’t feel

What we see online is not real

We spend our time on TikTok
While time keeps moving

The youth are trapped and suffocated
I pray my people can see
We are prey to the algorithm, and we suffer

Slow down, breathe, relax

Being a man is not about proving you’re tougher

It’s about building a legacy
It’s not, and it’s never been, about having a lot of money
With love and humanity, that’s how we truly win
The quality is in equality
You know what I mean